Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
