I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
