You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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