I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
