so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
