oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I met the friendliest cop last night
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
