i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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