Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
