I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
