I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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