Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Green mimosas i think yes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
