Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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