Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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