so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
