If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
