I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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