I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
