D3 body, D1 cock
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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