Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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