Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
