Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
