Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
