You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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