is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize