thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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