My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize