i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize