guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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