ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
