gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
