no, he came in my armpit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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