Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
