Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize