I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
