you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
