She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
