are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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