He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
