I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
