Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
