the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
