There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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