Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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