No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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