So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
