just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
