I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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