I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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