this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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