I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
