Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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