Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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