is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
