never play flip cup with pint glasses
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
