It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
