just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
