I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
