He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think your dad took our porno
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
