you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
