The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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