omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize